Today, I keep Theo home. He had a hoarse voice since Tuesday afternoon when I picked him up from A+ where he stayed after school with his Registered Behavior Technician (RBT) and Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA). The after-school program has been an effective avenue for Theo to engage with his peers and improve his communication, social, and community safety skills.
Yesterday, we spent the morning on a functional vision evaluation appointment with a behavioral optometrist. Functional vision differs from visual acuity, the latter being measured by a typical optometrist. It encompasses a broader area of skills, including how the brain receives, interprets, and responds to visual information and how that information impacts a person’s functioning. Theo visited his general optometrist before the end of last year and was prescribed eyeglasses. With a behavioral optometrist checking in, we are hoping to address not just his visual acuity, but also his functional vision, which a typical optometrist leaves uncheck.
Theo has grown, and his continues improvement provides an unconventional lens from where I see things, set my priorities, and process my own thoughts and emotions. This lens used to be blurry and full of uncertainties. In the last four years, it slowly develops some bifocals, seeing clearly in the now and in the future. Beyond that, it does not just see, it also feels. It feels peace and hope.
Early morning, I woke up thinking about the referral forms we have to drop off to and pick up from Theo’s doctors’ office. Next week, we are starting some occupational therapy services for him. Our chosen service provider, however, is outside of our medical insurance’s network. This means we have to do pre-authorization, pay out of our own pocket, & then file for partial reimbursement. The behavioral optometrist, the only one on the island, was also not covered by our insurance.
Theo was jovial, asking me over and over if today, I am going to be nicer. Meaning, I let him play the computer. Computer use is one of his top reinforcements. I agreed to let him use the computer after lunch, provided he has read a book or an article for 20 minutes. He complied, telling me innocently, how he never liked Mommy’s style of discipline, but sometimes, it can be fun looking forward to 12 noon or 5 p.m. when I agreed to let him use the computer.
Theo has grown, and his continues improvement provides an unconventional lens from where I see things, set my priorities, and process my own thoughts and emotions. This lens used to be blurry and full of uncertainties. In the last four years, it slowly develops some bifocals, seeing clearly in the now and in the future. Beyond that, it does not just see, it also feels. It feels peace and hope.
This is Valentine’s Day for us. Maybe, for next year, too. Maybe, for the next 10 or 20 years, as well. It is different, I know. But it is the kind of different that I have learned to embrace and has provided some much-needed direction, immense meaning, and yes, joy – that elusive, quiet joy no bouquet of flowers afforded me.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” -Rom. 15:13 NIV
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